LiFe...

伟民最近告诉我说，我应该会和我nbs那班朋友一起住。说真的，我已经早就做最坏的打算了。早已经预料到这个可能性。告诉自己说要大方点，不要去那么介意，不要那么多疑，他应该会自己看着办的。虽然还是会担心，毕竟本来就是个我一直觉得有威胁的人。现在要和伟民做housemate,一定担心啊。一直提醒自己要大方些，如果事情真的要发生，无论怎样阻止，它终究要发生。

随着伟民的毕业离开这个学校，加上朋友们去台湾做交换生，我慢慢发觉自己变了。。以前的我，喜欢和朋友吃饭，如果一个人独自在食堂吃饭，我会觉得很不自在。。现在的我，反而很多时候你想和朋友一起吃饭，都喜欢自己一个人坐着，慢慢吃。。。或许随着环境的改变我不得不变吧。。

I really not happy today..or i should say..im super sad..today we quarrelled again..of course, me and waiming..i went to find him today at his workplace...as usual, we went for dinner nearby..when we were walking to the foodcourt, i told him that i need to go back early today..coz i wanna buy something for my frenz...it is her bday...and i talked about my fren's bday celebration..the other fren..guy frenz..waiming started questioning me..said that why did i celebrate with the guy frenz and din celebrate with the gal frenz...i said...coz dunno it is her bday today..yesterday only i knew...and i ald promised waiming to go...then mai din celebrate with her lo..aiz...he said he felt that the gal frenz treat me better..y am i so weird that i din celebrate with her and celebrate with the guy frenz..i repeat my sentence...coz i dunno ma..i dunno it is her bday..>< he repeat his sentence...coz i dun und y do you treat the guy fren so good...he treats u so bad...i said..this is what u saw..but this wasnt the fact...then we keep quarrelling...nonstop..aiz..he said i was so defensive...tats y he think that im sam yau c...omg...i really got nothing to say...we keep quarrelling until very late..going here and there...sienz...i really think....now our cold war and quarrel are getting more and more serious..i think he wont sms or find me this few days...i will also hold on to my move...i really beh tahan liao...i dislike his attitude..

不知道为什么最近我总爱无理取闹.... >< 人家真的不开心嘛，有什么办法...问你有没有空聊聊天，结果答案是什么？see how...为什么,就算是那短短的五分钟，我也会很开心很感动的.现在已经不像那样，要求那么多了.但,我总觉得，我的到的更少了.我只是很想他而已...想每天都听到他的声音..我知道我们不应该衡量我们付出了多少,但以前的我,真的会因为对方迟回讯息而生气.到现在，我都没有要求他要立刻回我,想要的只是，偶尔的一通电话.可以不要让我觉得你好像把我彻底的忘了好吗？

你不懂我的心,你也不会想要去懂,想要的是...希望你不会永远都不懂....

今天,心情不是很好...突然觉得要维持一段感情真的是很难...在一起久了,不知不觉中就把不开心的事放大了...开心的事感觉变得越来越渺小了...现在的我,就是在人群中也会寂寞到痛苦流泪...可是你却不明白我的感受...往往我做的一切,在你眼中都是自讨苦吃...我很寂寞...

真的有好一段日子没写日记了...开学已经五个星期了..最近我觉得好寂寞...因为jiun走了..之前还有人陪陪呢..现在真的好寂寞..好朋友们都走了,伟民又不得空理我...每天就是上课,做project,读书,看戏,吃饭,睡觉...觉得好孤单..很想和朋友聊天,很想有多姿多彩的生活...如果有朋友们陪着我就好了..虽然说,这样也好..我能专心读书..可是...我怕我回崩溃呢...哎,也不能做什么了...就只能看着办了...祝我好运..一定要加油..