LiFe...

是我给他的不够多吗
是我要求得太多吗

可能就像我看着的台剧，爱的生存之道
里面的一个女主角喜欢的男生，都在有时想要她帮忙时，才来找她

可能，
他需要我时，才会找我
偶尔想到我时，才会找我
从公司走到地铁站，觉得无聊时，才打电话给我

我和他的性格差太远了
我和他的问题已经解决不了了
我和他在爱情里都不够成熟

有意见的分歧
还是就只是想要吵吵架
我们都在为一些微不足道的事情在吵

很累
真的很累

可能我们之间的爱情已经慢慢减少了
可能只是一种习惯
可能只是不舍
可能只是不想改变

我不知道
我要些什么

以前都会很大胆地和朋友们说
其实有拍拖经验是好事
因为至少自己了解自己要的是什么

但我
现在
真的不知道自己要些什么

虽然我承认我的错
但不代表是我的错
虽然我已经道歉
但却没有达到我要的目的

我不知道我还可以做些什么
已经做了我能做的了
还能怎样

谁能给我忠告
帮帮我好吗

heart is painful. really a loser i am. wrote a letter to wai ming during his birthday and our 999 days anniversary. told him everything about what i think about our relationship. thought indirectly let him know that i wish him to pay some efforts in maintaining our relationship.

i dun mind travelling far to meet him up. but i really miss him. but the day when i told him in a "casual" way, said that i felt that our dating dismissed earlier and earlier. His face suddenly turned black. scary. speechless, dun wan to say anything. this is just my opinion. girls are sensitive. I feel that he has no mood/heart to maintain our relationship. he prefers to sleep at home, enjoy his dota, watch drama and video alone more than dating with me. I und that guys need their own time more than girls do.

i do give him much space. now i didn't call him frequently..coz even if i am to call, he might not be picking up. i just wish that i can have more time from him to maintain our relationship. maybe after few years of dating this is very common ba..i think i have to set a limit for myself, not to sacrifice for too much and at the end..i am the only who suffer..

:(
:(
:(

Coming back to Ipoh for a few days holidays.. It had been long for not visiting my hometown... It is as usual, met my friends and accompanied my family. The topics with friends with always be relationship, boy friend...

I felt glad that I found one who I loved and the relationship is getting stable. I thought after making some changes, finally we seldom quarrel... However, then now.....we just quarreled and I really feel very sad...

He asked me if his blazer is at my Singapore home. I said yes, why? He said he need to use, and keep blaming me that why didn't I tell him about this. I said i thought u knew it. Then he said what for putting at my place. Hello !! How would I know. Blamed me for this, do I need to remember everything if urs? I will be super busy then. I feel he is really over.. Held me responsible to all this. Though I know I have responsibility, but don't you think that it is too over of pushing all the responsibility to me?

Another thing that have bothered for long..since we start dating... He always dun pick up my calls... I really can't imagine if I have any emergency.. Where I have my last words to tell him.... Lol... I think I think too much... Lol...but indeed, at least a call back after he saw the missed calls right.... He seldom does so...Aiz... Who can help me? Suffered....