LiFe...

sorry ya....na...foo keat....i got update my blog...din lie this time...juz retype wat i wrote in my hp last time coz i cant online.... Yesterday i did a very fish thing during my tuition time-i cried...many frenz saw it n i think it is indeed shameful n i really cant control myself even though i tried to do so...no doubt im a emotional ppl...every thing will be showed on my face...but all start becoz my fren said tat for sure she is thinner than me..(i know im stupid n childish)n in addition i was moody yesterday..bit sad la for her words but i know she juz pulled my legs as v always do tat....i know for sure my action had frightened her n she sure blamed herself lot for tat time....but actually it juz d right time for me to break down...i was tension i was stressed up...reason? as im a ppl who wil juz show sadness n happiness all d time on my face...it is really a tough task for me to keep all d things in my deep hearts n eventually i cried...recently i face lots prob...i think the biggest reason is tat i dunno wat m i doing..i cant forgive myself for my laziness but yet not trying to change myself... i think i can say tat i hate myself for being tat...i got such a big ambition wanna go into singapore uni wif scholarship so tat wil not increase my parents burden...however even me myself cannot feel d efforts tat im putting in...mayb im not putting in efforts...tat's wat i wonder...i hate myself for being so useless.i promised one of my frenz to help her in maths however i myself not even doing well then how can i help her?i feel hopeless...there is not much time left but im stil wasting it without making any planning for it..i feel tat im a failure..not either pretty or rich but yet lazy..im a failure in every sense...getting no1 in class during monthly test does mean much for me...i din feel im proud either...becz for me it is juz luck...n not my result of putting efforts...or mayb others r not serious during monthly test then only i can get no1....who can help me? no ppl besides me myself..i know this...god ar...plz help me to solve this prob...i juz wan to finish all d things tat i promised myself n my frenz i wil do with excellent result... maggie chong, do something right now or else u wil regret in d rest of ur life...